Monday, September 5, 2011

Ode to my younger boy.

Axel started preschool at Asa's old stomping grounds, and is more than psyched to be there twice a week.  He is very familiar with this wonderful place because he came with me to bring Asa last year three times a week.  With Asa, we would hang out for 20 or 30 minutes in the morning, reading books, engaging in an activity in the dress up area, or having a snack, because Asa requested I stay for a little while to help get him started.  Axel doesn't want me to stay.  He wants me to leave him to it.  It feels a little strange. 

I won't pretend it isn't awesome to be able to have a six hour uninterrupted stretch of time to spend sewing in my studio (my new job!) twice a week,  but I have moments of sadness and longing for my old life.  This is all happening so fast, I'm not quite ready for it.  And, actually, I probably wouldn't have chosen to even take him to preschool yet, it would save us money to keep him home, but he really wanted to go.  So, here I am.  There he is, doing things that don't directly involve me.  He is so confident and independent. 

This new groove has actually strengthened all of us I think.  The boys curl up with me at night, they requested to start sleeping with me again, instead of in their fancy new bunk beds.  I resisted at first, and then my stellar hubs reminded me they were going through so much change, why not just let them have this?  Smart guy that man.  It was just the ticket.  They both go off into the world just a little more without me, and then come tethering back home at the end of their adventure.  It's really amazing how this is working.  It is working. We all have our "own" thing going on for a few hours a week, and then we come back together excited, refreshed, full of news, and so far, happy.  I sure hope it stays this way. 

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